Menopause is an unavoidable stage in every woman’s life, but each person’s experience is distinct. The symptoms of this life change often take women by surprise, mainly because these topics are rarely discussed. Menopause “taboos” are usually excluded from discussion because women might find them embarrassing, or they may think that others will think less of them. However, women in perimenopause and menopause have an essential resource they might not have considered: therapy.
A therapist might not be able to help treat the physical symptoms of menopause with medications, but they can offer significant relief in other ways. Here are the most considerable bedroom secrets no one talks about after 50, and how a therapist can help you conquer menopause with confidence.
The Basics of Menopause
Menopause is the time in a woman’s life when they have officially left their reproductive years behind. They no longer menstruate, and their bodies begin to change, from bone density loss to potential weight gain, and more.
Most of these changes result from a cascade effect generated by a gradual decrease in the body’s estrogen. Estrogen underlies processes ranging from cognition to genitourinary function, and as it establishes a new, lower baseline, women often start to feel the effects.
The Menopause Secrets No One Talks About (and How Therapy Helps)
Not all menopause symptoms are directly tied to the bedroom, but the effects they have can all influence intimacy and connection, even in unexpected ways.
Identity Shifts
For some women, motherhood and fertility are essential parts of their identity. Now that these elements have faded, some may struggle to find what is left. A woman may suddenly feel old, even if her age has not changed much, or she may question how she fits into her family or society (especially in matriarchal or family-oriented cultures).
The therapist’s role: Redefining the sense of self. If a woman does not feel like herself, she often struggles to connect with others, including partners. A therapist can help her find her true identity and solidify who she wants to be and how to get there.
Emotional and Mental Turmoil
Mood swings, agitation, and an increase in anxious or depressive symptoms are all common in menopause. Fluctuations in estrogen are associated with more intense moods, often causing unusual spikes of anger, sadness, or panic. This can lead to women lashing out at those they love or distancing themselves emotionally. Many women find their own unpredictability distressing during this time.
The therapist’s role: Validation and strategizing. A therapist can help you build resilience, name and manage powerful emotions, and develop a plan for addressing mood swings.
Sexual Misalignment
One of the biggest challenges women often experience during perimenopause and beyond is their changing relationship to sex and intimacy. Menopause can lead to symptoms that are rarely discussed, such as vaginal dryness, discomfort, and a decrease in libido, which can be intense. Women may feel that something is wrong with them or that they can no longer fulfill their partner’s needs.
The therapist’s role: Coping and planning. A therapist might be unable to prescribe medications to address issues such as dryness. Still, they can help you examine intimate behaviors that you are comfortable with and that nurture a connection with your partner. This can often be an excellent opportunity for couples to attend therapy together, reconnect, and enrich their bond with intention.
Cognitive Decline
Few people talk about the brain fog that can accompany menopause for many women. It is common to feel that you cannot recall basic information or struggle to retain what others have told you. This can be discouraging and impact your ability to enjoy hobbies or relationships.
The therapist’s role: Management. A therapist can help you develop strategies for combating forgetfulness and continuing to cultivate your mental wellness. This can include journaling, creating new scheduling or reminder systems, and building affirming activities to prevent yourself from succumbing to overwhelming or hopeless feelings.
Don’t Let Menopause Rule Your Life
Menopause can pose a significant challenge to women’s physical, mental, and emotional wellness, but it does not have to dictate the rest of your life. If you are struggling with menopausal symptoms that no one warned you about, whether in the bedroom or beyond, a therapist can be an invaluable addition to your healthcare team. Contact Village Counseling today to get help managing your emotions, overcoming the overwhelm of brain fog, and reconnecting with your loved ones, even if your desire for intimacy has plummeted. Our therapists can help you create new strategies to embrace life the way you truly want to live it.