Couples of all types endure significant relationship challenges, and maneuvering through the difficulties frequently benefits from the help of a therapist. However, LGBTQ+ couples often encounter struggles that are exclusive to their life experiences. In a world in which LGBTQ+ people are still treated with bias, even strong, happy relationships can begin to falter under pressure. If you are seeing your relationship decline and are not sure what to do, LGBTQ+ couples therapy is a great place to start.
The experiences within the LGBTQ+ community are assorted, so people will struggle with varying levels of difficulty, acceptance, and security in their relationships. External pressures, internalized stigma, and even communication barriers can erode loving relationships, but therapists have plenty to offer. From setting appropriate boundaries to building resilience within the relationship, LGBTQ+ couples can learn the skills they need to survive and flourish in relationships. Many such couples develop particular strengths that serve them in the long run.
Exclusive Challenges of LGBTQ+ Couples
Couples can encounter difficulties at any stage of the relationship, and issues such as communication or infidelity are common. However, LGBTQ+ couples are disproportionately more likely to experience specific challenges, such as:
Pressure
Societal pressure is a powerful force working against many LGBTQ+ couples, especially depending on the communities in which they live. Society and family environment dynamics can negatively emphasize the relationship.
Parents may threaten to (or actively do) disown their children when they learn of their partner(s), individuals may be bullied for the way they present themselves, and more. Being forced to comply with society’s expectations of a relationship for safety or practical reasons can place undue strain on a couple.
Internalized Stigma
It is not uncommon for LGBTQ+ people to experience some stigma against themselves. This may sound counterintuitive, but it comes from the societal cultivation of certain concepts since childhood. For example, a gay person who is out to their family and friends may view someone who has not come out yet as “immature” or think that they are giving gay people a bad image because they feel it is something to hide. Carrying these negative (and often subconscious) opinions and judgments can erode the quality of a relationship, especially if the stigmas also affect the other person’s identity.
How a Therapist Can Help
Therapy is a good place to begin addressing the relationship challenges that can derail an LGBTQ+ couple’s goals. Some of the ways that an affirming therapist can help include:
Building a Strong Foundation
Relationships built on solid ground are more likely to endure and to achieve this, both couples must practice openness and vulnerability. This can look like anything from honesty about spending habits to opening up about gender or sexual identities and interests. People grow over time, and building a strong relationship foundation means sharing the new things you have learned about yourself so both partners can continue to build toward each other, not apart. Therapy provides a safe place to examine these ideas.
Setting Boundaries
Many LGBTQ+ couples experience unwarranted intrusions into their lives. From nosy neighbors to judgmental friends or unsupportive family, relationships may gradually erode due to external and internal pressures. A therapist can help you set reasonable, effective boundaries to protect your sanity and peace. This may involve limiting contact with toxic family members, placing restrictions on specific interactions if you and your partner maintain an open relationship and more.
Accessing Affirming Resources
Managing relationship challenges is often best done with the support of others. Therapists are invaluable but can also point you toward other affirming support to strengthen your bond. From specific LGBTQ+ groups to options for safe housing if you need it, a therapist is a resource that can provide your relationship with the external assistance it needs to prosper.
The Strengths That Come From Adversity
No one wants life or relationships to be challenging, but LGBTQ+ people do develop strengths that come from these difficulties. The particular issues they may experience can cultivate:
- Resilience
- Compassion
- Empathy
- Determination
- Wisdom
- Patience
- A sense of justice
These attributes are small but valuable advantages of overcoming relationship challenges, turning something complex into something more beneficial.
Keep Your LGBTQ+ Relationship Strong
A strong relationship is built on trust, vulnerability, and a determination to show up for each other daily. This is true in any relationship, LGBTQ+ included. If you are struggling to manage difficulties in your relationship, the LGBTQ+ affirming therapists at Village Counseling can help. Contact Village Counseling today to schedule a couples therapy appointment!