It is natural for couples to go through many “seasons” in their relationship. From the initial stage of “butterflies in the stomach” to the peaceful security of old age together, a couple may find that the way they perceive each other changes over time. However, for many, these changes may not always be positive; a loss of intimate connection is one frequent complaint and one of the leading drivers of divorce.
Couples therapy is one tool for overcoming a loss of intimacy that helps couples reconnect to become a happy, unified team. The gradual decline of intimacy in relationships stems from many patterns and behaviors that are common in both marriage and life. From emotional disconnects to life changes and more, various decisions—both conscious and subconscious—contribute to this issue.
However, couples therapy can help partners to better understand each other’s needs and communication styles, offering tools and strategies for rebuilding intimacy and strengthening their emotional bond.
Why Intimacy May Decrease Over Time
Intimacy is an essential element of a successful relationship. Intimacy refers to more than sexual connection; it is also the emotional bond shared by a couple. It encompasses trust, vulnerability, honesty, and reliance. Some of the most common reasons that intimacy may decline over time in relationships include:
Familiarity and routine
Intimacy is a bond between two people—and when a relationship becomes stale and common, those two people can take each other for granted. They may fail to see what they found so spectacular about each other to begin with, causing them to drift apart.
Familiarity is natural in relationships; after all, the goal of a relationship is to get to know someone well. However, continuing to challenge yourselves as a couple and experience new and exciting things can keep intimacy alive by consistently allowing partners to see each other in new lights and interesting situations so that the relationship is always growing.
Rising stress
Many relationships begin when people have the time to commit to seeing each other. They may be younger, still in school or starting out at work. As the relationship continues, individuals may gradually come into more stressful situations: promotions at work that increase their responsibility, the birth of children, and more. High stress levels introduce more opportunities for conflict and drain a person’s willingness and ability to connect in a relaxed state.
Resentment
Relationships that have persevered for many years may be undermined by resentment—the gradual buildup of negative impressions fostered by a partner repeating the same actions or behaviors that the other partner dislikes. Resentment can cause a partner to disconnect or distance themselves from the other.
Unresolved emotional burdens
As life continues, it is unavoidable that challenges will arise. From the deaths of parents to close friends moving away, people must navigate many emotionally difficult challenges. If they fail to do so, the negative impacts of these emotional burdens can harm their relationship, driving them inward rather than keeping them connected with their partner.
The Role of Couples Therapy in Reconnection
Couples therapy is a useful method of reconnecting and regaining intimacy in relationships. A couples therapist assists partners in:
Creating open lines of communication
Therapists facilitate a safe space for couples to communicate. In fact, the therapist often assists couples in conveying their ideas using words that accurately reflect their feelings rather than getting caught up in semantics. When couples understand each other, they are more likely to be able to connect.
Increasing vulnerability
Another way that therapists can assist in rebuilding intimacy is by helping partners to increase vulnerability. Providing a space for them to air grievances and understand how to resolve them brings couples closer together and helps to prevent the gradual buildup of resentment.
Rebuilding a connection
Remaining connected is one of the most essential building blocks of intimacy. From exercises encouraging intentional, non-sexual physical contact to sharing personal details and stories so that partners learn more about each other, therapists can facilitate two people building a strong connection.
The work done in the therapist’s office extends out into the relationship, with connection fostering more connection like a self-fulfilling circle.
Try Couples Therapy to Rekindle Intimacy
It is entirely normal for any relationship to go through phases or stages, all of which may not be pleasant. However, couples can take an active role in keeping their relationship strong, and couples therapy is one means of doing so.
The experts at Village Counseling can help you rekindle lost intimacy and stop it from fading over time so you and your partner can maintain a strong bond for many years. Contact Village Counseling to schedule your couples therapy appointment!