Opening a relationship can be one method of helping everyone involved to have their needs met. However, it can also be a time full of challenges, even when both partners are trying to approach the situation with care. LGBTQ therapy can offer numerous advantages for couples considering opening their relationship or those ready to commit to this big change.
Professional guidance can be an invaluable tool for setting healthy boundaries and navigating the emotional complexities found in many open relationships. Therapy can help partners establish clear communication, manage expectations, and address any underlying issues to manage a successful transition into an open relationship.
What It Means to Open a Relationship
What do partners mean and hope to achieve when they suggest to “open their relationship”? An open relationship is one in which partners agree that one, if not both, of them may pursue romantic or sexual contact outside of the bounds of their two-person relationship.
Open relationships should always be the result of agreement and careful communication between both partners. One partner cannot unilaterally decide to open the relationship, and to do so can break trust.
Professional Guidance When Opening an LGBTQ Relationship
A therapist can assist couples in building a strong foundation for their open relationship, promoting understanding and long-term success. Some of the primary areas that open relationships often struggle with—and that therapists can help partners to overcome—include:
Navigating difficult emotions
With the approval of the non-involved partner, open relationships can succeed when partners meet a variety of needs (whether sexual, romantic, or otherwise) from people outside of their partnership. However, with this practice can come difficult emotions, such as jealousy, even when partners are supportive of their loved one participating with other people.
Therapists can help each party to navigate such feelings in a healthy manner without generating resentment or developing habits that undermine the stability of the relationship. By approaching jealousy actively through therapy, the partner feeling jealous can understand what insecurities are causing these feelings, and the individual whose behavior is causing the jealousy can identify ways to reduce the impact of their behavior on their partner.
Setting healthy boundaries
Boundaries are necessary in any relationship, but they are especially important when a relationship opens to other people. Healthy boundaries provide clear guidelines for what is and is not acceptable.
Establish mutually agreeable boundaries can be a challenge; however, with therapy, this can be achieved. Some people may attempt to set boundaries that are unfair or unclear, while others may be unable to pinpoint what is causing their discomfort in order to articulate a relatable boundary.
Examples of boundaries often used in open relationships include:
- Not bringing a partner into the home shared by the couple
- Not having sexual relations with a partner while another partner is in the building
- Dedicating a certain number of hours to each partner
Establish clear communication
Even in situations in which both participants in a relationship agree enthusiastically to open the arrangement, miscommunication can cause conflict and misunderstandings. Therapists facilitate clear communication by providing a safe space for couples to air their grievances and explain what is troubling them. Then, the therapist can identify the root of an issue and guide participants to use words that convey the meanings they intend rather than evoke emotions such as frustration or offense.
Is Opening a Relationship Right for You?
Opening a relationship is a big decision which may not be right for every couple. Open relationships work best when couples are both enthusiastic about non-monogamy and have strong reasons for pursuing relations (of any type) with other people. This could come from mismatched kinks and uneven libidos in which one partner does not feel that their needs are being met.
Alternatively, relationships involving mixed LGBTQ orientations may benefit from opening the relationship. A bisexual individual can be free to explore their attraction to both sexes while their heterosexual partner remains an important part of their lives. The greatest chance of success is with couples who already have a strong foundation of trust, communication, and honesty. All of which can be developed in therapy!
Get Help from LGBTQ Therapy to Set Your Relationship Up for Success
Whether you are considering opening your relationship for the first time or you have attempted non-monogamy and encountered challenges or misunderstandings, LGBTQ therapy can be the key to restoring a strong, stable relationship. The experts at Village Counseling always welcome couples considering or participating in open relationships; we can help you build clear communication, set strong boundaries, and support each other. Contact Village Counseling to schedule couples therapy for your open relationship!