Have you experienced anger you find difficult to control? Been told you have a “short fuse”?
You are not alone. You may have already tried managing anger by looking up online tools that are designed to help. Generic advice, such as counting to 10, taking a deep breath, or other anger management techniques have probably fallen short. For most people, at the heart of the challenge is a single question: “Why am I so angry?”
You do not need to determine the answer right away. In fact, managing your anger is a process best taken slowly, at a pace that ensures your progress will continue to develop. If you are worried about risking your relationships, job, children, or other areas of your life because of your anger, you do not need to feel shame and fear about what your anger might “say” about you. Consider the following guidance as you seek help.
Key Takeaways
Anger can manifest as having a “short fuse,” having difficulty winding down from anger, or stressing your relationships.
Anger is not something to be entirely erased, but it should be directed in healthy ways. Therapy, including cognitive behavioral therapy, can teach you coping skills to address anger.
Therapy can also deal with subconscious tendencies toward anger, such as former trauma.
Signs That Your Anger Is Ruling Your Life
The first step in learning how to control your anger is identifying that your anger is causing you problems. Perhaps you have snapped at someone you love or felt an angry response rise while you feel powerless to stop it. Have you watched a small thing turn into an overblown reaction you regret later? This is an indicator that your anger is not serving you.
Anger, like many other emotions, can be an essential part of a complete life. But excessive anger has been tied to personal dissatisfaction, stress, relationship struggles, and more. Some symptoms indicating that your anger is exceeding the normal range include:
- Anger that persists long after the situation has resolved
- Angry feelings that cause notable physical changes (e.g., upset stomach, headache)
- A “short fuse”
- An inability to clear anger from the mind (for example, replaying the incident so you continue to feel angry)
- Chest pain, difficulty sleeping, or shortness of breath due to upset
- Relationship struggles arising from an inability to remain calm
Does Therapy Help With Anger Management?
Therapy for anger is one of the most effective methods of addressing rage and emotional upset. A therapist can help you recognize the physical and emotional anger triggers that could be driving your response.
Once you understand what frequently upsets you, you can choose to avoid that situation or come into it knowing ahead of time how you might respond. This grants you the foresight to manage your physical response, including using coping strategies learned in therapy (e.g., breathing, grounding).
Being angry is not something that should be eliminated. Anger can serve you, but there are healthy ways to express anger. Therapy can teach you how to replace your physical and emotional anger reactions with communication instead.
This might mean using cognitive behavioral therapy to change your irrational thoughts or practicing physical adjustments, such as four-square breathing to manually override your agitated nervous system. Cognitive behavioral therapy may also assist you in overcoming mental patterns that prolong your anger. These can include the tendency toward “always” and “never” statements (such as “you always do this” and “you never help me”).
Similarly, therapy can teach you how to express your boundaries so that you do not continue to engage with situations that unnecessarily frustrate you. If your anger is tied to a root cause such as trauma, or if you grew up in a situation that modeled frequent anger as a method of coping, your therapist can help you address these latent influences.
Try Therapy to Learn New Anger Management Tools
If you have been struggling with anger, rest assured that you are not alone, and you are not destined to remain upset for a lifetime.
Individual therapy for anger can teach you to handle your emotions with greater stability. You can change your anger response. The professional team at Village Counseling can help you learn new methods of feeling and responding to your anger so that you more effectively maintain your relationships, both with others and yourself. Contact Village Counseling to schedule an appointment for anger therapy and begin on the road toward greater calm and confidence.