Children often struggle to find a place where they belong, but for trans children, the issues compound quickly. From basic encounters such as peers using the wrong name to difficulties finding clothing that fits and affirms their gender, trans kids often feel left out and isolated. As a parent, your role is to support your child; however, unless you are trans yourself, you may not know how. A good therapist in Maryland can help you guide your child as they develop in a community where they can flourish.
This starts with meaningful connections and supportive spaces. It also means knowing what makes your child feel valid and helping them practice what to do when things go wrong. Here are a few ways you can assist as your trans child finds their place in the world.
The Challenges of the Trans Experience
Living as a trans person presents exclusive difficulties. Some of the most common struggles that trans people experience include:
- Feeling as though they do not belong in their bodies
- Self-consciousness about how others perceive them
- Bullying
- Restricted access to specific events, situations, or places
- Suicidal thoughts
- Self-harm
- Difficulty finding clothing that fits their bodies and identities
Studies show that trans people are more prone to depression, anxiety, substance use, STDs, violence, and suicidality. Parents need to help their trans children establish a strong support system both within and outside the family, not just to protect their mental well-being, but to provide a safe physical space as well.
How Parents Can Help
As a parent, you have greater access to some resources than your child does. These include support groups and therapy. Some of the many things you can do to help your trans child include:
Local LGBTQ+ Youth Groups
In some locations, local groups catering to LGBTQ+ people always welcome new members. This can provide a safe space for your child to express themselves, which may be invaluable if they are not safe doing so in other areas of life (such as at school).
It can also expose them to others in the same situation. They may share the emotional aspects of being trans with each other for catharsis. Alternatively, your child may learn strategies or tools (such as how to find safe chest binders and wear them) that they previously did not have access to.
Affirming Activities and Spaces
It is your responsibility to provide a safe and affirming space for your trans child, but you cannot control how people treat them outside the home. What you can do, however, is identify activities and spaces that your child feels are affirming and continue to support those.
For example, your child may prefer going to the pool because their body is usually submerged and obscured from view. They might appreciate ballet classes if they enjoy the movements and finery. No matter which spaces and hobbies they like, support them in participating safely and confidently so they always have an enjoyable place to go.
Social Practice
How does your child respond when someone misgenders them? One of the best things you can do as a parent is practice these scenarios so your child knows what to do. Sit down together and think of what to say when someone is cruel versus when there is simply a misunderstanding.
How should your child approach a request that someone use their preferred name or pronouns? What happens if the other person doesn’t? Having the answers to these questions ahead of time can help your child relax and be confident.
Safety
Trans children are more likely to be victims of bullying and direct violence. Teach your child how to be safe when they are outside your home. Invest in self-defense classes, and work on conflict de-escalation techniques. Provide resources, such as emergency contact phone numbers, in case they ever find themselves in danger.
Building Confidence
Sometimes, confidence comes from seeing others in the same situation succeed. This is why helping your trans child find their community and identity is so important. A therapist can be an invaluable member of your family’s affirming community.
Therapy helps identify areas in which your trans child’s life is not living up to their hopes or expectations (and what to do about it). It can also help them build confidence by finding which behaviors or methods of expression they struggle with. For example, are they a pushover when people misgender them? Therapy is a great way to practice other responses.
Help Your Trans Child Flourish
Your trans child will likely encounter difficulties as they grow up, but a supportive family is irreplaceable. If you need help supporting your child’s success, contact Village Counseling today to schedule a therapy appointment with an LGBTQ+ affirming therapist.