It is common for queer teens to feel unmoored in the world, struggling to find a place where they can fit in and succeed. School remains one of the most challenging aspects, as it places young people in an environment where others might discriminate against them. Balancing transitioning, schoolwork, coming out, and more takes a substantial amount of energy, which is why trans youth and LGBTQ+ therapy is an essential resource. (Neurospicy people may experience similar challenges, but can also benefit.)
If you struggle to balance school, your identity, and how the people in your life support or hinder those efforts, you have a few options. Here are some basics to make sure you start on the right foot.
Tips for Balancing Transition and Academics
For most young people, academic performance is the first thing to suffer when difficulties with queer identities emerge. Studies show that LGBTQ+ individuals are more likely to maintain a lower grade point average than their peers. The good news is that you can do things to create a favorable environment for succeeding in school and being your most authentic self.
Make a Plan for Schoolwork
The emotional and mental rigors of queerness, such as bullying and dysphoria, can leave students with very little energy to dedicate to their academic efforts. One of the best things you can do as early in the school year as possible, though anytime is all right, is make a plan.
A plan might resemble a specific block of time each night dedicated to homework, an accountability system with a friend to check in and see who is late on assignments, or even a clean home space always used for schoolwork. By setting yourself up for success, you already have your station and strategy set up when needed. This can reduce the mental energy you need to spend to succeed.
Think About Timing
If you plan to come out to family or friends, this is likely the only thing on your mind right now. It is simple for school responsibilities to be pushed to the side. As you approach this important juncture, think about the timing.
If you are unsure whether you will be accepted after you come out, plan for the repercussions. For example, if you think your class will be unsupportive, coming out on the first day of the school year may not be wise. By planning your big news strategically, you can alleviate some school pressures.
Find the Safe Spaces
Finding reprieve when you are struggling can help to mentally refresh you, and knowing where you are safe gives you a protected environment to flourish. Find safe spaces in your community, friend groups, family, or internet circles, and embrace who you are when you are with them. This can give you the inspiration and energy to succeed even after you step back into groups that do not know (or do not support) your true self.
Research School Policies
School comprises a significant portion of a young person’s life, often eight hours a day or more. As you consider how to present yourself and which elements to share, research school policies. You will be in this building for hours almost every day, and staying within the institution’s guidelines for dress and other queer-related considerations can simplify your day-to-day responsibilities.
Try Therapy
For many teens, balancing academic responsibilities, their needs as a queer person, doctor appointments, and more can quickly feel overwhelming. Do not neglect the value of therapy!
An LGBTQ+ friendly therapist helps teens manage the difficulties of this stage of life. From nurturing coping skills to reduce the cognitive load to helping students to pick their battles at school, therapists provide essential tools to help you succeed. You can practice time management, rehearse meaningful conversations (such as coming out or holding boundaries), and create a plan to manage your school responsibilities without compromising on the best facets of what makes you you.
Embrace Yourself and Find Ways to Succeed
Balancing transition and school is one of the biggest challenges for many queer teens and neurospicy students. Thankfully, you have more resources than you may realize if you need help. The affirming team at Village Counseling can help you develop skills and strategies to manage your time, curate your interactions with others, and find fulfillment in your own identity without compromising on success in other areas. Contact Village Counseling today to schedule an appointment with an LGBTQ+ friendly therapist!