Many things can change a couple’s sex life, but few are as well-known as menopause. This unavoidable part of any woman’s life comes with changes to the body that may impact intimacy. If this sounds like you, you are not alone! Women in perimenopause and menopause should not be ashamed of the transition, nor should they lose hope that their connection with their partner(s) can remain a source of excitement and joy.
Night sweats are among the most significant challenges that many women experience during this time of their lives. Suddenly feeling hot, sweaty, and uncomfortable can quickly make anyone less interested in intimacy, but passion and closeness can still be rediscovered during this stage of life. The best ways to work toward this goal include good communication, adjustments to how you live and treat yourself, and help from a professional.
The Changes Menopause Can Bring: Night Sweats
If you are already in the heart of menopause, you likely know what night sweats are. But for those just entering this stage of life, night sweats are hot flashes that occur during sleep, causing significant sweating, even in a cool room. Studies indicate that this happens due to the changes the body is undergoing in its hormonal systems.
As the brain adapts to different levels of hormones (or significant fluctuations within a short period), the area responsible for regulating temperature can become unpredictable. It no longer maintains consistent control, leading to the body sweating persistently despite the temperature.
For many women, the discomfort and self-consciousness associated with night sweats are enough to interrupt intimacy. Yet, there is another way forward!
How to Rediscover Passion During This Challenging Time
If the passion in your relationship has dulled to a simmer due to night sweats and other menopausal symptoms, taking a proactive approach can help to restore your connection. Some of the most impactful things you can do include:
Communication
Your partner cannot be expected to understand or change their intimate approach if you do not share your situation. Be upfront about how you feel, your insecurities, and the goals you hope to pursue regarding relationship intimacy.
For example, some women do not want to engage when actively experiencing a hot flash. Being clear with their partner, e.g., “I want to spend time with you, but I do not feel well right now,” can help preserve connection more than simply pulling away with no explanation or saying, “Not now.”
Similarly, some people may be seeking connection even during a night sweat episode. This, too, benefits from clear communication, from what types of touch are acceptable right now to vulnerability about how you feel about yourself.
Lifestyle Adjustments
While your body’s changes are outside your control, there are many things you can do to reduce the frequency and severity of your night sweats. Avoid spicy foods, especially in the evening. Keep your bedroom cool, and use breathable fabric in layers to help you adjust your temperature overnight. Stay active and enjoy a nutrient-rich diet, which can change how your body processes hormones.
Personal Support
For many women, self-talk about their bodies can be one of the most damaging aspects of menopause. It is essential to support yourself! Your body is changing, transitioning you into new and exciting times. Bear in mind that your worth is not tied to your constant wellness, beauty, or intimacy; it is tied to you. When night sweats feel like they are getting in the way, focus on what matters most.
Therapeutic Help
Are you having difficulty reframing your body image and connecting with your partner? If so, therapy can be a great help. A couples therapist can teach you coping skills and even work with both of you to practice intimacy skills. Sometimes, a little practice is all it takes to reconnect authentically and with joy, even if you have been together for many years. It can also help your partner understand what you are experiencing and how they can best support you with love and care.
Do Not Let Night Sweats Fracture Your Intimacy
If you are experiencing night sweats as part of perimenopause or menopause, you do not have to accept a decrease in intimate connection and passion. Therapy can help you embrace these changes and continue flourishing in your relationships with others. Contact Village Counseling to schedule an individual or couples therapy appointment to rediscover the passion in your relationship and heat up your evenings.