Everyone goes through phases of being busy, and for couples, this can put a strain on the relationship. Even brief periods of intense work or other activities can contribute to relationship discomfort. Prolonged busyness requires new strategies to keep the bond strong, especially when both individuals stay busy often. Couples therapy is an excellent option for learning new skills that will help you manage this stage of your life. There are also many strategies you can apply at home every day.
This guide provides a concise list of practical strategies for creating quality time, maintaining emotional connection, and building relationship habits that work within busy lifestyles. The challenge of maintaining connection and intimacy when both of you have demanding schedules and competing priorities does not need to compromise your relationship!
How to Keep Your Relationship Strong Through Busy Times
Busy schedules tend to pull people apart because their focus is directed toward their most urgent business. To avoid neglecting your partner while you (or they) are busy, be sure to:
Be Small but Intentional
You do not need to plan an extravagant weekend out to reconnect, although you can if you want to. Instead, small actions can make a big difference when done with intention. Leave your partner a sticky note reminding them that you care about them and wish them well during their day. Hold hands regularly. Greet them every morning and say goodnight every night. Hug them as they head out for the day. Stacking these intentional moments of connection reminds your partner that you are a supportive presence, even when you are not physically there during their busy activities.
Lock In and Listen
Even the most hectic schedules still allow for a few moments of conversation during the day. When these opportunities arise between you and your partner, listen. Do not just listen to hear, but listen to understand. Do not divide your attention during these precious minutes. Your partner will be able to connect with you, and you will better understand their struggles, goals, and needs.
Harmonize Schedules
Many couples with at least one busy partner have some small time frames throughout the day when both can take a break. Try to harmonize your schedules for the week so that there are small pockets of time where the two of you can decompress together. This might be a 30-minute window for dinner or an extra 15 minutes before bed, but it makes a difference.
Schedule Sex
Yes, it might not sound very romantic. Still, couples often see a significant difference in their level of connection and intimacy when they schedule sex (or whatever form of intimate contact makes you feel loved and appreciated). Physical intimacy is often one of the first things to fall by the wayside when schedules compete, but it is also one of the most effective means of maintaining the bond in a relationship and keeping satisfaction high.
Good communication is essential here. Work together to determine how often is enough for both of you.
Make Together Time Count
When scheduling time together, make sure it is productive and effective. Watching TV side by side without saying a word might be relaxing on an individual level, but it does little to support the relationship. Instead, choose activities that include dual participation, such as going to the gym or playing a game.
Communicate
Communication is essential during busy times. Your partner will not know how to support you or what challenges you may be experiencing if you do not share them! Be honest about what is stressing you, whether that is too many household chores, a significant share of the mental load in the home, or the feeling that you are being left out of your partner’s free time.
Pull Your Own Weight
Making time for your relationship means making your partner’s life easier when possible, and this strategy is a two-way street. Your partner will have little time to dedicate to your bond when they are taking on the lion’s share of responsibilities, such as chores. Do what you can to make your loved one’s life easier, and when they do the same for you, both of you will feel cared for and find your schedules a little more open.
Don’t Let Your Relationship Suffer When Things Get Hectic
During times when schedules are filled to the brim, it is essential not to let your relationship fall by the wayside. Couples therapy is a helpful place to start, allowing you to identify which areas need the most help. Contact Village Counseling to schedule an appointment for couples therapy in Maryland and learn how the above strategies can be applied in your household.