For many couples, cheating on a partner spells the end of a relationship, but this doesn’t always have to be the case. It is common to assume that anyone who stays together after an affair is simply in denial or being strung along, but the reality is that with intentionality and help from couples therapy, many relationships thrive after cheating. Some become even stronger.
The process of rebuilding trust in a relationship after infidelity is no simple matter, but couples therapy can help with facilitating open communication, addressing underlying issues, and restoring intimacy.
During this time, it is beneficial to have a skilled therapist who can guide reconciliation so each person can communicate—and be heard—without conflict or hurt. By embracing emotional healing in therapy, couples can rebuild a stronger foundation of trust and commitment.
Can a Relationship Recover from an Affair?
Infidelity is often a behavior that persists through relationships; that is, if a person has cheated in the past, they are three times more likely to do so again in the future compared to an individual who has never cheated. Therapists often reference affairs as one of the most challenging types of relationship damage to address, typically because of the level of hurt partners experience.
However, rebuilding trust is possible after an affair, and studies show that relationships can come out stronger for it. In order to make a full recovery, partners must actively commit to changing their behaviors—and in most successful rebuilding scenarios, this goes for both partners.
Cheating frequently arises due to unaddressed issues in the relationship meaning that in some cases, even the faithful partner may have some areas to work on.
How Couples Therapy Helps Rebuild Trust
Overcoming an affair is one of the most challenging hurdles a couple can go through. Relying on a couples therapist is wise because it provides ground rules for engagement and can guide the relationship in a more productive direction while minimizing conflict. Some of the many ways that couples therapy helps to rebuild relationships affected by cheating include:
Facilitates open communication
Communication is the most important element after an affair. The partner who cheated should expect to be entirely open and honest, including about where they are and what they are doing, until trust is rebuilt. The partner who was cheated on should be willing to listen, which can be a challenge after a significant emotional hurt.
Couples therapy provides a safe and constructive place for each partner to air their thoughts and concerns. The therapist can guide the conversation to remain on topic and stay productive rather than devolving into personal attacks and passive aggressiveness.
Addresses underlying issues
People rarely cheat on a whim. Instead, this behavior is motivated by many potential underlying issues. According to studies, the most common are:
- A feeling of unmet sexual needs (e.g., frequency, kinks, etc.)
- A desire for intimacy
- A need for autonomy
- Situational factors (e.g., stress, neglect)
- An emotional disconnect from their partner
Couples therapy can identify which drivers motivated the partner who cheated, then guide the relationship to address that weakness. When the core issue is resolved, partners often no longer have the motivation to cheat.
Fosters emotional healing
Recovering from an affair takes time because partners must rebuild not only trust, but their emotional vulnerability around each other. The partner who was cheated on is less likely to open up to the other person or engage with them in meaningful ways because they do not want to be hurt again.
The individual who cheated might struggle with knowing how to re-engage with their partner in meaningful ways. A couples therapist can help to establish the building blocks that guide partners back toward each other. It takes time and practice, but often, the first steps toward a renewed bond can be found in the conversations in a therapist’s office.
Guides new foundations
To stop an affair from happening again in the future, couples will need to establish strong ground rules, foundations, and boundaries informing their relationship as they move past the event. A couples therapist can help to identify where partners overstepped and help determine what new boundaries are reasonable for both parties.
Try Couples Therapy for Your Relationship
An affair may spell a rough patch in a relationship, but it does not have to mean its end. Dedicated effort from both partners in couples therapy can establish new, stronger foundations on which to build a relationship that thrives.
The team at Village Counseling is ready to help you and your partner overcome the hurt and confusion of an affair and get back on solid footing. Contact Village Counseling to schedule an appointment for couples therapy.