Social media is everywhere; more than five billion people use some form of social media, and this number is only expected to rise. Social media users account for about 93% of everyone with an internet connection. On average, a person will spend more than two hours daily on these apps or sites. It is no wonder that addressing relationship tension caused by social media is a frequent focus of couples therapy in Virginia Beach.
Social media habits create relationship tensions in modern couples, from difficulties setting and respecting digital boundaries to seeking validation in ways that can strain partnerships. Couples therapy can help people to establish healthy social media boundaries, improve their connection with their partner offline, and address underlying relationship insecurities that social media might amplify. With the help of a therapist, couples can learn strategies to better balance their digital and in-person lives within relationships.
The Challenges of Social Media
While it is true that social media offers extraordinary access to positive relationships, such as connections with friends, family, and valuable resources, it can come at a cost. Social media fundamentally alters how a person engages with society, the rest of the world, and even themselves. Some of the main issues that many social media users experience are:
Digital Boundaries
In an age in which millions of people are just a few clicks away, it likely comes as no surprise that relationships may struggle with boundary issues. Partners may have different ideas about acceptable engagement; is commenting on every one of a person’s posts considered too “personal” in the same way that spending every day with someone might be considered cheating? Is keeping an eye on your partner throughout the day (whether through their social media posts, location pings on Google Maps or Facebook, or something else) overbearing or affectionate?
Time Management
On average, people spend multiple hours every day engaging with social media. Many relationships suffer, with valuable interpersonal time lost to staring at a phone. Partners may struggle to balance recreational social media time with real connection in-person, leaving the other to feel neglected.
Validation
Receiving praise feels good; that is the purpose of the brain’s dopamine (or “reward”) system. For many people, seeing a personal post receive likes and comments is similar to receiving constant praise, leading some to seek consistent validation from social media. This gradual addiction to validation can leave couples unable to find purpose from interpersonal sources, straining relationship connections.
Insecurity
Take one scroll through Instagram or TikTok, and you will quickly see posts with tens of thousands of likes and comments in almost any genre or niche you can imagine. Following these creators can be inspirational, helpful, educational, and more, but it can also promote uncertainty within oneself.
Similar to any celebrity, a content creator is not an accurate, unaltered representation of a person. Still, they can spark insecurity, making partners unjustly compare themselves to an impossible or unrealistic standard. Insecurity may place strain on other relationship areas, leading to conflict.
Practical Solutions Through Couples Therapy
Couples therapy offers numerous solutions for partners to rekindle their in-person connection and address the challenges that social media can bring. With a careful strategy, some compassion, and effort, couples can find a healthy balance between engaging with their favorite social media outlets and maintaining a strong interpersonal relationship.
Establishing Boundaries
A couples therapist can help one or both partners create reasonable, actionable boundaries. These may be things such as:
- Limiting social media use to a certain number of hours or minutes per day
- Limiting which social media outlets are used
- Restricting which types of actions are acceptable (e.g., public comments are all right, private messages are not)
Boundaries set expectations, allowing both people to make informed choices about their online activities.
Nurturing Connection
Losing the “in real life” (IRL) connection between partners is common when social media becomes prominent. Couples therapists can help individuals rekindle their physical connection. This may come through intentional intimacy, planning small relationship-building behaviors, or spending time together in the therapist’s office.
Addressing the Foundation
Insecurity stemming from social media use can erode the strong foundation that a couple has built. It can make partners suspicious or unable to receive validation and affection from their counterpart, and may interfere with honest communication. A couples therapist can help individuals identify how social media impacts them and what consequences it has on a relationship. They can also create a personalized strategy to fill these gaps and strengthen the couple’s bond on a foundation of security and trust, not internet-fueled self-consciousness and suspicion.
Keep Your Relationship Strong With Couples Therapy
Social media may be the source of many relationship challenges. Still, it does not need to be entirely removed from most couples’ lives. Contact Village Counseling to learn how to properly balance online and interpersonal relationships and behaviors so that you and your partner stand firm, even when experiencing difficulties.