Many events or encounters can cause a sudden increase in stress. Some people experience more severe responses to these “triggers.” The challenges of being triggered are usually exacerbated in relationships such as friendships, where the response affects two people instead of just one. The good news is that couples therapy can help one or both people understand what triggers are and how to address them.
Triggers can derail a person’s day and make certain activities difficult. However, triggers are not a life facet set in stone. A therapist gives people the tools to identify shared and individual triggers, recognize the early warning signs that someone is straying outside their comfort zone, and choose practical strategies to effectively calm the triggers that cause an unfavorable response.
What Is a Trigger?
A trigger can be a person, place, or scenario that evokes a strong, adverse reaction. Triggers go beyond simply feeling uncomfortable or slightly stressed; they often evoke severe responses, such as overwhelming panic, heart palpitations, flashbacks, or the initiation of the fight-or-flight response. Everyone’s reaction to a trigger is different, so having a therapist’s support helps identify triggers and how the patient responds to them.
Some people with triggers often experience social stigma for their responses to the situation. They may have been told they are “overreacting” or that “it’s not that bad.” However, any patient struggling with triggers is valid, whether in a relationship or on their own. Seeking therapy is the first step toward more confidently addressing triggers and preventing potentially debilitating responses to those situations.
How Couples Therapy Helps to Address Triggers
Couples therapy can be invaluable for learning how the body responds to triggers and knowing how to address them effectively. In relationships, both people can and should work together to address this challenge, as it can lead to a stronger relationship, better communication, and increased interpersonal awareness. Some of the things a therapist helps people to do are:
Recognizing Warning Signs
People are not always aware of their triggers or even that they are being triggered. A therapist can help people identify the warning signs that a particular event, action, or person may be a trigger. Symptoms include physiological and psychological responses, which can impact how the affected person engages with the situation and how they respond to others, such as friends and family.
Deescalating Responses
Once an individual is aware of the triggers in their relationships, a therapist can help them deescalate from triggering situations. People cannot control their subconscious reaction to a trigger, but they can choose what to do next. A therapist’s office is a great place to practice; first, identify the trigger, then enact the strategy built with the therapist’s help. This could involve specific breathing exercises, mantras, or other self-soothing mechanisms.
It is also essential during deescalation to be mindful of one’s body language, which is doubly true for multiple people working together. The affected person should attempt to maintain calm body language, which may require fighting the urge to cross one’s arms or turn away.
Similarly, their friend or family member should be cognizant of the impact of their reactions on exacerbating the trigger; everything from one’s tone of voice to posturing can matter. A therapist helps people work together to understand how they feed off each other and how to redirect that energy into a collaborative, positive effort.
Building Trust
Once a person understands their potential triggers and strategies that work for them to deal with the resulting discomfort, the time is ripe for building trust. Support, communication, and introspection are all essential skills during this time, and developing them now will serve any relationship well over the long term. Trust is required for a person to lean on others when a triggering event happens, and the vulnerability of sharing discomforts and triggers facilitates greater trust over time. Therapists assist in mediating and guiding this gradual growth.
Don’t Let Triggers Derail Your Life
A trigger can be a challenging reaction to manage, but the way your body subconsciously responds is not your fault. Couples therapy can help you learn what to do after a triggering event and how people can work together to deal with it. The team at Village Counseling welcomes anyone who struggles with triggers; we are always ready to help you achieve your goals, both together and as individuals. Contact Village Counseling today to schedule a session!